if only i could explain it

that feeling

that desire

that wish something that would make sense in words

i am broken, hurt, confused

affectionate, fascinated with, crazy about

and i wish

i could just punch you in the face.

let it all out.

i have a strong addiction.

i dont wanna think about it.

but its a little too late.

ill just cry instead.

im in pieces.

shattered.

i wish i could just fly away.

but my obsession wont let me leave.

why does this have to happen to me.

cant have it.

but i guess ill just have to wait.

its been a while.

Its been a while since ive wrote a blogpost

not to good at them

but i needed to get my mind off homework for a second.

so todays december 21, 2012.

and if you dont know what that means, ill gladly tell you.

3 years till the end of the world.

i know, i know.... bullshit.

but i am a believer, so dont even start with me.

i just cant wait to see the look on everyones face december 20, 2012.

even if you don't believe, your still gonna be freaking out.

i just kinda wanna know whats gonna happen already.

like just skip ahead 3 years.

i hate not knowing.

because if it does happen, and everyone is going to die...

then why would i bother sitting in school, or doing homework.

id have to go out and do everything i want to do before i die,

and party hard of course.

haha

12/21/12, three years baby.... get ready.

asdfghjkl;'

i kinda just a had a miniheartattack

nbd

i dont liek people today

or maybe just my parents my parents

why cant they just like stop bothering me for once in my life?

ugh

life is stupid.

To the Soldiers...

May you always have work for your hands to do.

May your pockets hold always a coin or two.

May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.

May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of a friend always be near you.

And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Today...

I have decided that if i don't have time to write a whole long blog...

ill just write a quote, saying, poem or something to represent my day[;

Todays Poem of the Day:

Got a problem with me?
Go solve it.
Think im trippin?
Tie my shoes.
Cant stand me?
Sit down.
Cant face me?
Turn around….

i dont know what i should write.

okay so like my friend jessica desides to make a blog

she shows me one day

and im like oh cool

so i read it all

and its super cute

and shes like you should make one..

and im just like uhmm i wouldnt konw what to write

but here i am.

btw... i really hate this font. its so ugly... as are all the rest

uhmmmm

i guess ill just share my weekend?

so i went down to georgia with my mom too visit my family friends(who are my moms friends from college).

the two other moms were the sorority with my mother at UGA.

so friday

holy fuck.

i was telling people how i was flying to georgia that day and everyones like oh fun fun blahblahblah

and then i was in class writing the date... and i didnt know what it was

so someones like oh its november 13th.

AND IM LIKE HOLY SHIT ITS FRIDAY THE 13th.

and just so you all know, im like the most superstitious person EVER.

after that, i spent the entire rest of the day not

trying to step on cracks...

nina and michael decided itd be funny to like push me into them as we walked.

and like i didnt even have my rabbit foot! (yeah im that cool)

but the weird thing was... is last february i went to kansas, and i had to fly on friday the 13th!!!

like MOM, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?

like why do we have to fly on this day. like omgg

and so when my mom picked me up at 1:00 on friday, i went home and like searched through everything to find my rabbits foot. and i finally found it, yet was still flipping a shit.

and so then we got on the plane

and i was like so nervous

and my mom was like drew whats wrong? and im like ITS FRIDAY THE 13th AND WERE

FLYING. IM SO SCARED

and yeah so when we took off i like grabbed my moms hand and my rabbits foot, closed my eyes.

and didnt open them till we landed...

i fell asleep. but still.

and i finally got there and like basically kissed the ground.

i was alive... thankgod.

anyways.

we got in and had to take a train to some place and then our fam friends picked us up

she dropped me off at her daughters highschool (shes a frosh)

and we went to see her schools(lovett) football game...

that was pretty fun

i met a bunch of her friends

and it was so weird

there was this one girl, cant remember her name.

but she asked where i was from

and shes like oh where in CT

and i said westport, and then she started like screaming..

and then said, OMG DO YOU KNOW CAROLINE SMITH

and i was like yes i do, shes in my grade.

and shes liek OMGOMGOMG i go to camp with her

she was kinda flipping out, she scared me a bit.

but small world, huh?

then i went home and listened to my mom and donna(sorority sister of hers/my fam friend) talk all about life in college... and just reminising.

it was kinda funny the stories they told... partying...

my mom... i now know how much my mom partied.

donna was likke EVERYNIGHT shed come home at 3am and have to work on her papers... she got everything done, always though.. even if it took her all nite.

ooo one of the stories that i thought was pretty funny was...

so my mom had this little yellow fiot.. which i guess i this really small sports car thats super low to the ground.. 2 seater, and so she and donna were driving to the liquor store to get some stuff for a party(of course...) and so she parked, got the stuff and then they got back in the car. so shes like oh look, theres no one parked in front of me so i guess im just gonna like go

straight instead of backing out, but being my mother, as stupid as she is, forgets of the cement block they put in front of the parking spots... shes goes straight over it and gets stuck! her cars soo low to the ground they just coudnt move! so my mom goes back into the liquor store and is just picking guys in the store to help lift her car up... she goes around saying, "you look like you have a lotta muscle, can you help me?"

so she gets 6 guys to easily pick up her car and move it.

my mom an idiot, i know where i get it from now.

wow this post is way to long. can i just like make a new one... and tell the rest of my weekend?

whatever people wont even read this anyways i guess. hahah

saturday...

well we went on a run for 2 miles after we woke up and had pancakes.

i am so outa shape.

but not really... it was easy

and then we like stopped, and i swear i was gonna like puke. but i didnt. i think it was just the pancakes got to me...

so then what did we do..

oh we went over to my moms OTHER friend from college... her names beth.

she has two boys... john-david and eric. john david is in 8th grade and erics in 5th.

but johndavid is hilarious. he loves making jokes about girls and stuff.

i hadnt seen him in forever... like six years ago i think...

and i walk in the door and say hi and everything.

and im like oh so what grade are you in?

he says 8th, what about you?

and im like im sophomore in highschool.

and hes just like, ", oh.. and older women!' hahha

but yeah so we drove to the UGA game. it was against auburn

but first, of course, we had to go to their old sorority.

we just kinda wallked in. and me and johndavid were like uhmm shouldnt you knock or something first? and theyre like uhhh no. its fine.

isnt that weird to you though? just liek walking in and being like "OH HEY WE USED TO LIVE HERE"

but OMG MY MOM in the pictures OMGOMGOMG.

just look at her when she first pledged!!!

i think its the funnies thing ever.

like her hair just SCREAMS 80s. hahahahah

she kept like asking beth like, DO YOU SEE ME?

WHY WAS I EVEN LET IN THE SORORITY LOOKING LIEK THAT!!!

oh mother. what will we do with you

but dont worry, she didnt usually look like that. hahaha

but almost every person at the time had curly hair... so maybe it just wasnt so strange.

well anyways... we went kinda just walked around. and everyones just like ... oh hey who are you people. and theyre just like alumni.

and theyre like oh okay.

nbd or anything.

but i guess since the girls were like changing and whatever upstairs, whenever a guy came up... someone need to shout, "MAN ON THE HALL"

and johndavid ohlorddy.

he kept checking out all the girls and everything and like it was hilarious.

but yeah, my mom then showd us her old room. it was cute now

she told us how her and donna got a great idea when they lived there, to put up cork on the walls so they could put up pictures and stuff.

and like everyone loved their room and it was so cute cuz theyre walls were just FILLED with pictures.

but i guess after the left... like 3 years later, the room got infested with bugs that like crawled through the cork hahaa. and the room had to be like cleaned and stuff and it was pretty bad.

uhm what else. so after we went to where we were tailgating. i nevr understood how fun it was.

but georgia is the CRAZIEST SCHOOl.

they are SOOO into football.

every single person was dressed up in red/black and tailgating and partying...

everywhere...

it was so crowded and insane

and we were right in the midst of it.

but i guess donna and them do this for all the games since the have season tix... and have been for like the past 15 years... crazy.

and i guess one year, they met this guy, merve--> cute name. haha

and he just was there tailgating by himself.. so he introdcued himself to them

and theyve been tailgating together ever since!

he knows everything about them... and like everyone. its weird...he knew my name.... i was kinda freaked out haha

but yeah hes pretty cool.

we had a lot of food and drinks that were soo yummy. donna made shrimp&grits. YUM

and the redvelet cake... UHH DELICIOUS.

oo and then like all these college kids kept coming up to take some food... they call them the "huvverrerrs" (cant sppell sorry... deal with it.) and they just come and like chill out for 20 minutes, then leave. but i loved all the other college kids that came up to the dads and were like "YOO DUDEEE, WANNA JOIN OUR BEER CHUGGING CONTEST?" or like "WANNA HIT UP THIS VODKAA WITH ME?" it was hilarious..

and the dads would and like ohlord. haha

oh adn then johndavid and eric got bored... so they sat in chairs, watching girls as they passed by and rated them.

like cool... he would just be like 5, 8, 4! and eric would be like 3, 6, 7! it was SOOO FUNNY.

and then merve ccame up to johndavid and was like hey, i wanna introduce you to some people.

and so he was like oh yeah, gonna meet some hott college girllls. and so hes like, "should i say hey? or whatsup?" and then he was like "NO WAIT, i should offer her a beer, thats always good." johndavid is HILARIOUS. i actually love this kid, hes sucha typical 8th grade boy though. haha

bu tyeah then we went to the georgia football game.

and DAMN that stadium was bigger then yannkee stadium, giants stadium, liike it was huge. 93,000 people!!!!!!! it was ridiculous.

and it was so intense. the game was really close... and i guess georgia was really bad this year

but we won!!! 31-24! =]

and i lost my voice i was screaming so much.

ooh and theyre was this creep sitting next to me, who like wanted to know everything about my life..

he asked me where i was from, and i said connecticut. and hes just like..."wheres that?"

i was like uh... near ny...

hes like oh. then stared at me for like 5 minutes.

he did this whenever he asked me something.

i tried to pretend like i didnt hear him a lot of the time.

like seriously, how creepy is that...

but yeah so the game ended at about 11.

and we went to the parking deck and were on floor E...

it took us an hour to get down.

it was SUCHA JOKE. we didnt move for actually 55 minutes. it was sooooo annoying. but whatever, we got home at like 130. good timing... i guess.

and then i just crashedd and woke up at 1230 on sunday.. haha

we went to tacosac for lunch. i had a hickory burger... 8 oz angus burger with melted cheese, bacon and barbecue sauce. YUM.

but it was like A MILLION callories...nbd.

i didnt ahve breakfast or dinner though, so i guess thats okay then.

but i did have an iced coffee, those cute little biscoff cookies and a banana, and a twix bar on the plane.

they bumped us up to first class, it was great.

comfy seats, like a million things to eat.

it was so nice... but we were like on a small plane and a short flight so it wasnt as nice as if could be, you know?

but yeah then we went home.

and now im writing this.

so im gonna go

cuz things just fucking long.

shoutout to jessicatiffanyguo[;

xox